How to Receive (and Give) Feedback Without Letting It Derail You

Feedback can be a catalyst for career growth—or a source of stress and self-doubt. How you receive and give feedback shapes your confidence, professional development, and relationships at work. Yet many professionals, especially those who battle imposter syndrome, struggle to find a healthy balance between taking feedback seriously and taking it personally.

If you’re a leader, you need to tailor feedback to your team members in a way that fosters growth.
If you’re an individual contributor, you need to be able to process and apply feedback without letting it shake your confidence.
And regardless of your role, you should know how to communicate your feedback preferences to your manager, so you get the kind of feedback that actually helps you improve.

Here’s how to do all three.

1. If You’re Receiving Feedback: Don’t Let It Shake Your Confidence

For many professionals, feedback feels like judgment. If you struggle with imposter syndrome, even minor critiques can feel like confirmation of your worst fears. But feedback is not a personal evaluation, it’s information. When you shift your mindset, you can use feedback as a tool for growth rather than a hit to your confidence.

The Situation-Behavior-Impact (SBI) Model, developed by the Center for Creative Leadership (CCL) in the 1980s, helps remove the emotional charge from feedback. Instead of internalizing criticism as a personal failure, break it down into clear, actionable pieces.

Let’s say your manager says, “You need to be more proactive in meetings.”
Instead of spiraling into self-doubt, reframe it using SBI:

• Situation: What was the specific moment being referenced?

• Behavior: What exactly did I do (or not do)?

• Impact: What effect did my behavior have?

A better internal response: “In our last team meeting (situation), I waited for others to answer before sharing my thoughts (behavior), which meant my ideas weren’t heard (impact). Next time, I’ll speak up earlier.”

How to advocate for yourself: If vague feedback leaves you unsure of what to do next, ask for specific examples and actionable next steps. You can say: "I want to improve in this area, can you share an example and what you’d like to see instead?"

2. If You’re Giving Feedback: Make It Useful, Not Discouraging

Whether you’re a leader or a peer, your ability to deliver feedback effectively impacts your credibility and relationships. The best feedback is direct, actionable, and considerate of how the person prefers to receive it.

Apply Radical Candor: Challenge Directly, Care Personally

Developed by Kim Scott, a former Google and Apple executive, Radical Candor is a framework for delivering feedback that balances honesty with empathy. Scott introduced this model in her 2017 book Radical Candor: Be a Kick-Ass Boss Without Losing Your Humanity.

Too often, people either:

• Avoid tough conversations to keep the peace.

• Give blunt feedback that demotivates instead of supports.

Good feedback is both clear and supportive. It addresses the issue but also reinforces the person’s value.

Instead of saying: "Your presentation wasn’t clear."
Try: "You presented some strong points, but certain sections could be more concise. Let’s strategize on best practices that will allow us the opportunity refine the key messages to ensure they resonate more effectively."

3. If You’re in a New Role: Set Expectations for How You Receive Feedback

Most professionals only think about feedback in terms of what they did in the past. But Feedforward, developed by Marshall Goldsmith, a renowned business coach and author, shifts the focus from what went wrong to what can be done better moving forward.

Goldsmith popularized the term to emphasize future improvements rather than past critiques, offering an alternative to traditional feedback, which often focuses on evaluating past actions. Unlike conventional performance reviews that analyze mistakes, Feedforward encourages actionable suggestions for growth, helping professionals move toward their goals without dwelling on prior missteps.

This is a great model to introduce when starting a new job or working with a new manager because it creates a forward-thinking culture of continuous improvement. Instead of just discussing what didn’t work, it ensures feedback leads to clear next steps and opportunities for growth.

If you want to set expectations with your manager on how to receive feedback, you can say:

• "I’d love to focus on what I can do better moving forward rather than just evaluating past work. When giving feedback, I’d appreciate suggestions on how I can improve next time."

• "I process feedback best when it includes specific takeaways for future projects. I’d love to know what worked well and what I should refine next time."

If you’re a leader, you can use Feedforward to shift team conversations from past mistakes to future success:

• Instead of saying: "Your report was missing key details."
  Try: "For the next report, let’s include more data on X and Y to strengthen the overall analysis."

• Instead of saying: "Your client communication wasn’t strong."
  Try: "To improve client engagement moving forward, consider adding a recap email after each meeting."

Final Thoughts: You Have to Own Your Feedback Style

The best professionals don’t just accept feedback, they learn how to make it work for them. Whether you’re a leader developing your team or a professional working through self-doubt, the way you engage with feedback will determine how far you go.

• Be intentional about how you give feedback. It should be clear, actionable, and rooted in care.

• Be mindful of how you receive feedback. Not all criticism is a personal attack, learn to extract the value.

• Communicate your feedback preferences to leadership. The earlier you do this, the better your working relationship will be.

Let’s Take Your Career to the Next Level

At Revamped, we don’t just tell you what needs improvement, we work with you to build a strategy for success. Whether you need help with refining your elevator pitch, optimizing your resume, or preparing for high-stakes interviews, we focus on clear, actionable strategies that move your career forward.

Instead of dwelling on what hasn’t worked in the past, let’s create a plan for what will work next.

Book a session with Revamped today, and let’s focus on the next steps that will get you hired, promoted, and positioned for long-term success.